Lovely friends,
The fall equinox is here, and I always like these little markers in the year. There is something about realizing we are officially moving into another season that makes me look around at my own life too. I start thinking about what I’m carrying with me, what feels complete, and what I’m actually excited about now. I don’t necessarily sit down and make some big plan around it, but I do notice the shift.
I know we talk a lot about balance around the equinox, and lately I’ve been thinking about what balance actually looks like in real life. There are times when balance means resting, pulling back, healing, and giving yourself time to figure things out. There are also times when we’ve thought about something long enough, processed it from every possible angle, and we’re ready to put some energy behind it and see what happens.
I feel like I’ve spent a lot of the last few years learning myself better. I understand my intuition differently than I did ten or twenty years ago, and I know much more about what drains me, what excites me, and what I actually want to spend my time doing. I’ve changed directions plenty of times along the way, and I’m sure I’ll change a few more because that’s part of growing and living.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned after all these years of working with Spirit is that I don’t need a sign for every single decision I make. I think there was a time when I believed that if I became intuitive enough, spiritual guidance would eventually make everything really clear. I would ask the right question, receive the right sign, know exactly what to do, and then move forward feeling completely confident about it.
Life has rarely worked that neatly for me.
Sometimes I get a very clear intuitive answer, and sometimes it’s much quieter. Something will keep popping into my head, I’ll feel drawn toward an idea, or I’ll notice myself getting excited every time I think about trying something. Over the years, I’ve learned to respect those feelings because I know myself better now. I don’t have to turn every nudge into a giant spiritual event before I’m allowed to explore it.
I’ve also realized that asking Spirit the same question over and over can sometimes be my way of putting off a decision. I already got the feeling and I already know which way I’m leaning, but I’m still looking for one more sign because I’d really like somebody to guarantee that everything is going to work out. Spirit has never given me that guarantee, and honestly, I don’t think that’s how any of this is supposed to work.
What I have received over the years is guidance, support, protection, ideas, synchronicities, and plenty of moments when I knew something in my gut before I could explain why. I’ve also made choices that didn’t work, changed my mind, had to redo things, and occasionally wondered what on earth I was thinking. Those experiences have taught me just as much about trusting myself as the times when everything flowed perfectly.
I actually had a silly little example of this recently with one of my meditations. I had spent days working on it, learned new software, got everything ready, released it to my members, and then discovered part of the video had been clipped. I was so irritated because I had already done all the work and thought I was finished with it.
There wasn’t some profound spiritual response from me in that moment. I wanted the video to work.
So I pulled it down, fixed it, uploaded the whole thing again, and the new version ended up getting about twice the views. I love little experiences like that because they remind me that when something goes wrong, it doesn’t automatically mean I’m headed in the wrong direction. Sometimes there’s simply a problem in front of me that needs to be solved, and I’ve gotten much better at getting creative, fixing what I can, and continuing forward.
That feels especially appropriate to me as we move into a new season because I think my relationship with Spirit has become much more practical as I’ve gotten older. I pray, meditate, talk to my angels, work with energy, and listen to my intuition. I also make phone calls, research things, learn new software, ask questions, fill things out, make mistakes, fix them, and try again. All of that belongs in my spiritual life because this is the actual life I’m living.
I don’t want Spirit making every decision for me. I want Spirit beside me while I make them.
That has become a really important distinction for me. I can ask my angels to help me find an opportunity, but when something opens I still have to decide whether I’m willing to walk toward it. I can ask for help with money and then find that the answer involves looking at a bill, calling somebody, or finding a different option. I can ask for clarity about something I want to create, but eventually I have to sit down and create it.
This is also one of the reasons I work with Archangel Michael so much. There is often a little space between knowing what I want to do and actually doing it, and fear loves to move into that space. Suddenly I can think of every possible reason something might fail, why I might be wrong, what somebody else might think, or why this probably isn’t the perfect time.
When that happens, I ask Michael to help me clear some of the fear so I can hear myself again. I’m not asking him to make the decision for me. I’m asking for help getting grounded enough to recognize what I already know and strong enough to take the next step if it still feels right.
One little thing I sometimes do when I’m stuck between two choices is an imaginary coin flip. I don’t even need an actual coin. I imagine flipping one, and before it lands, I pay attention to which side I’m secretly hoping comes up. It’s such a simple exercise, but that first response can tell me a lot before my brain has time to start explaining everything away.
The more years I spend doing this work, the more I believe that spiritual growth includes learning how your own intuition works. We spend years noticing what a yes feels like, what fear feels like, what happens in our body when something is off, and how different it feels when we’re picking up somebody else’s anxiety instead of our own. Eventually all of that experience becomes part of our spiritual toolbox, and I think we should give ourselves more credit for what we’ve already learned.
That is really what I’m taking into this equinox. I’m not feeling the need to make some giant list of everything I have to change before the end of the year. I’m much more interested in noticing what I’ve already been thinking about, what I’m genuinely curious about, and where I might be ready to participate a little more instead of waiting until I feel completely certain.
Maybe there is something you’ve been circling around too. You may have been thinking about taking a class, starting something, applying for something, creating something, having a conversation, or simply exploring an idea that keeps coming back. You don’t have to know where it will eventually lead before you give yourself permission to take one reasonable step toward it.
As we move into fall, I think that’s what I want to carry with me. I can ask Spirit to guide me, ask Michael to help when fear gets loud, listen to the intuition I’ve spent years learning to understand, and then participate in my own life. If something doesn’t work, I can adjust. If I learn something new, I can change direction. If something opens, I can give myself permission to see where it goes.
That feels like a pretty good way to begin a new season.
Much love,
Lisa 💜
