Lovely friends,
Iāve been thinking a lot lately about how much energy unfinished things take from us. I donāt even mean the huge life stuff. I mean the email sitting there that needs an answer, the appointment you need to make, the bill you need to look at, the pile you keep walking past, or the decision youāve already thought about seventeen different ways. We carry all of those little open loops around in our heads, and after a while we wonder why we feel so scattered.
This has probably been on my mind more because I am living it in a very real way right now. Since my mom passed, there have been so many things to wrap up, and I donāt think you realize how many pieces of someoneās life exist until you are the person trying to close them all. Accounts, phone calls, paperwork, pensions, Social Security, belongings, her apartment, things that need to be canceled, things that need to be transferred, and people who need to be notified. Every time I think I have made a nice little dent in the list, another thing pops up and waves at me.
It has been strange because there is grief mixed right into all of these incredibly ordinary tasks. One minute Iām thinking about my mom and everything we went through during those months of hospitals and care facilities, and the next minute Iām on hold trying to explain to somebody why an account needs to be closed. Then I hang up and move on to the next thing because that is simply what needs to happen. There is something very surreal about having something so emotional sitting right beside paperwork, passwords, forms, death certificates, and figuring out what to do with somebodyās furniture.
And I think that is part of why I have been craving order so much. My brain can have fifteen tabs open before Iāve finished my first cup of coffee anyway, so adding all of this has been interesting. I can be thinking about something I need to handle for my mom while remembering something for work, then suddenly Iām thinking about something one of my kids needs, and somehow five minutes later Iām mentally redesigning my entire business. Meanwhile, the original thing I actually needed to do is still sitting there waiting for me.
I am also an Aries, so give me a good list of things to do and I am a happy woman. I love knowing what Iām doing next, and there is something ridiculously satisfying about putting that little check mark next to something and knowing it is DONE. I swear I get an actual burst of energy from completing something and crossing it off, especially when it has been floating around in my head for days. There is success in that little check mark for me because I can see that I moved something forward.
Honestly, that has helped me a lot with wrapping up my momās things because there are so many pieces, and some of them are emotional while others are just plain tedious. I can look at the whole thing and feel like it is endless, or I can make my list and decide what Iām handling that day. Make the phone call, check. Send the paperwork, check. Deal with one account, check. Every check mark reminds me that I really am getting through it, even when there is still plenty left.
What I am learning through wrapping up my momās life is that I cannot carry the entire list in my head at the same time. I can know the list exists, but I cannot emotionally live inside every item on it all day long. There has to be a point where I choose what I am handling now and allow the rest to wait their turn. Otherwise everything starts feeling urgent simply because everything is unfinished.
That has been such an interesting lesson because the last several months of her life were very similar in that way. There was always another decision, another doctor, another facility, another phone call, another piece of information we were waiting for. I spent months learning how to deal with what was actually happening that day because there was no way to know what the next day was going to bring. And now Iām realizing Iām still using that lesson, just in a completely different part of the experience.
Maybe that is why Archangel Uriel has felt so good to me right now. Uriel is one of my favorite angels to work with when my thoughts start going in too many directions because his energy has always felt incredibly practical to me. I think of Uriel as that flash of understanding where suddenly you can see what matters and what needs to happen next. Sometimes it is an answer to something I have been asking about for days, and sometimes it is simply realizing I am making something much harder in my head than it actually needs to be.
I donāt need Uriel to give me the next twenty steps. Most of the time I would probably ignore steps fourteen through twenty anyway because Iām still thinking about step two. I ask him to help me see what needs my attention first. That has become one of the most useful ways I work with Spirit because it brings me back into the life I am actually living instead of the ten possible versions of it I have running through my head.
There is something really calming about asking, āWhat is the next thing?ā instead of asking myself how I am possibly going to handle everything. One question gives me something useful to work with, something I can actually put on my list and eventually give that glorious little check mark. The other sends me into every possible problem, timing issue, expense, phone call, person I need to contact, and backup plan before I have even done the first thing. Right now, I really need the first question.
I think this is especially important because there is so much information coming at us all day long anyway. We have news, social media, money worries, family responsibilities, work, technology changing at lightning speed, and everybody telling us what we should be doing to keep up. Then life hands us our own very personal list on top of that. Of course we feel scattered sometimes.
Iāve also been thinking about how easily we confuse urgency with importance. Something can be loud in our head all day and still have very little to do with what actually needs our attention. Then there can be one quiet thing underneath all of it that we know would make our life easier if we finally handled it. Iām getting much better at noticing that difference, although I certainly have my moments.
Iāve been doing this with my momās things too. Iāll look at everything that still needs to happen and ask myself what would make me feel a little more settled if I got it handled today. Maybe it is making one call, finding one document, dealing with one account, or making one decision about something of hers. Once that one thing is finished, I can actually feel some of the space it was taking up in my head come back to me.
That has made me think differently about closure too. I used to think of closure as this emotional moment where something ends and you somehow understand it. Iām realizing that sometimes closure is incredibly practical and happens little by little. Sometimes it is closing the account, emptying the drawer, signing the paper, making the call, deciding what stays, and deciding what can go.
Some of those moments catch me off guard. There are things that are easy to handle because they are simply administrative, and then there are little things that suddenly carry a whole memory with them. You can be perfectly fine sorting through something and then one ordinary object stops you because you remember exactly where it sat or why she had it. That is when I give myself a minute because I have learned there is no prize for racing through something just because it is on a list.
Then when Iām ready, I keep going.
I think that is where spirituality becomes very real for me. It lives right inside those ordinary moments. It isnāt separate from dealing with an apartment or making phone calls or figuring out somebodyās paperwork after they die. Spirit is there too, helping me stay clear enough to know what I can handle today and reminding me that I am allowed to stop when I have had enough.
There is wisdom in knowing your own limit, and Iāve been seeing boundaries this way too. Sometimes a boundary is a conversation with another person, and sometimes it is a decision I need to make with myself about how much time, attention, or emotional energy I am willing to give something in one day. I can decide Iām doing two of my momās things today and then Iām going back to my own life. That matters because my life is still here too.
When someone you love is sick for months, their world can slowly become your world without you even realizing it. Your schedule changes, your thoughts change, your priorities change, and you become used to being ready for whatever happens next. Then suddenly that part ends and there is this strange process of finding your way back into your own days again. I am still figuring out what that looks like.
Iām finding pieces of myself coming back through very normal things. Working, creating, getting organized, thinking about what I want to do next, and having moments where I realize Iām actually looking forward again. Grief will show up however it wants to and whenever it wants to, and I am giving it room when it does. At the same time, I can feel life beginning to have room around it again.
Maybe that is why getting things handled feels so meaningful right now. Every piece I wrap up creates a little more room for whatever comes next. I donāt know exactly what that next chapter looks like yet, and I donāt feel like I have to know. I just know Iām slowly clearing the space for it, one phone call, one decision, one box, and yes, one very satisfying check mark at a time.
And that feels hopeful to me.
There is also a lot of self-trust built through doing this. Every time I notice something needs my attention and I actually respond to it, Iām showing myself that I can handle what is in front of me. Every time I decide something can wait, Iām trusting myself there too. I donāt have to conquer the whole list to know I am moving through it.
That feels very Uriel to me. There is wisdom in being able to look at everything swirling around you and recognize the one thing you can actually affect right now. There is wisdom in knowing when you need more information before deciding, and there is wisdom in realizing something can wait until next week and allowing yourself to stop thinking about it until then. Clarity gives your energy somewhere to go.
Iāve also had to learn that slowing down can be part of this, which is always entertaining when youāre an Aries. My preferred solution can absolutely be, āGreat, I understand it, everybody move, weāre doing this now.ā My Aries side would happily make a list called āWrap Up Entire Life by Fridayā and then become personally offended when the universe does not cooperate. I know myself.
That is where Uriel has been such a good balance for me because I can still have my list and enjoy the heck out of my check marks while asking which thing genuinely needs me first. Everything on the list does not have to become todayās assignment. I can finish three things and feel good about the three things instead of staring at the twelve things that are still waiting. That is something I am genuinely trying to practice.
I think we tend to get nervous when something slows down because we assume we are losing momentum. I have had enough experiences now where a delay gave me information I needed that I pay attention when something keeps stopping me. I ask Uriel to help me see what Iām missing. There may be a detail I overlooked, a better option I havenāt seen yet, or simply a timing issue that becomes obvious once I stop pushing against it.
That doesnāt mean I sit around waiting for Spirit to run my life for me. I donāt believe that is how any of this works. I think we are here to participate, make choices, learn, screw some things up, change our minds, try again, and become wiser because we actually lived it. Working with Spirit helps me stay connected to myself while Iām doing all of that.
And sometimes my spiritual practice really does look like doing the boring thing. It is organizing the paperwork because I know I will feel better when I can find it. It is looking at the numbers because avoiding them doesnāt change them. It is putting something on the calendar, clearing off my desk, answering the message, making the phone call, or finally deciding what I am doing about something.
There is a surprising amount of peace hiding inside taking care of your own life.
I think that is something we forget when we talk about manifestation too. We can have a beautiful vision for what we want to create, and I absolutely believe in holding that vision. Eventually that vision needs somewhere to live, and the everyday choices we make are part of building that space. If I want something different in my work, relationships, finances, home, or spiritual life, there are real things I can do that give that future a foundation.
That part can actually be exciting when I stop looking at it like a giant project. I donāt have to build the whole thing this afternoon. I can do the piece that belongs to this day, put my little check mark beside it, and let tomorrow have its own piece. Somehow those ordinary little pieces start becoming the life I was imagining.
I think this is one of the reasons the message, āYou do not need the whole plan. You need the next clear step,ā has stayed with me so strongly. I can use that anywhere. When I start worrying about something three months away, I can come back to it. When Iām overwhelmed with work or looking at everything that still needs to be wrapped up with my mom, I can definitely come back to it.
There is freedom in realizing I only have to live the moment I am actually in. I can plan ahead because anybody who knows me knows I am never going to stop doing that, but I donāt have to mentally live every future possibility before I get there. I can handle what belongs to this moment and trust myself with the next one when it arrives. That feels like a much kinder way to live.
So lately when I feel scattered, Iāve been keeping my work with Uriel really simple. I ask, āWhat actually needs my attention first?ā Then I give myself a minute before I start answering the question with my brain. Usually something very ordinary rises to the surface, and I have learned to respect that answer.
Sometimes I write down just that one thing because there is something about seeing it on paper that quiets everything else. I can tell myself the other things still exist and I will get to them when it is their turn. Then I handle the thing in front of me, check it off, and enjoy that little moment of completion before I go looking for the next problem to solve. It sounds almost ridiculously simple, but simple has been feeling pretty good lately.
And maybe that is what Iām thinking about most this week. We spend so much time believing peace will arrive when everything is handled, every question has an answer, and every loose end has been tied up. Iām living through a situation right now where I know some of those loose ends will take time, and I still need to live while I work through them. I can create enough order underneath myself that every unfinished thing doesnāt have to follow me around all day.
I can make the call, finish the form, ask for help, deal with one box, or decide something can wait until tomorrow. I can have a hard moment, give myself some room for it, and continue when Iām ready. I can ask Archangel Uriel to help me see what deserves my attention and trust myself enough to work with the answer I receive. Then I can put that check mark down and know that for this day, I moved something forward.
There is something very comforting to me about that right now. I donāt have to be ten steps ahead of my own life to be doing okay, and I donāt have to finish wrapping up an entire chapter before Iām allowed to begin looking toward another one. I can take care of what needs taking care of while slowly finding my way back into my own life too.
One thing at a time really can be enough.
Much love,
Lisa š
